Expedition 9 to 5

Whenever I talk to people, specifically other Americans, about traveling alone I am always received with a look of shock and the question- “but do you eat alone in restaurants?” Yes, I do — and while it may sound daunting, I have grown to love it. Here’s how to tackle the dreaded eating alone when you’re traveling solo:

Bring a book and journal 

This is step number one. Having a book and or journal at your disposal occupies your mind and not only gives you something to think about other than the irrational fear of  “holy shit all of these people are staring at me”, but also allows you to look relaxed and unbothered. I often use the book to my advantage when slowing down my eating as well. Read a page, take a bite. Read a page, take a sip. The journal comes in handy for eavesdropping on other people’s conversations. I will often leave a restaurant after a solo endeavor filled with pages of interesting anecdotes I overheard or notes like “Wow the man sitting at the table next to me is extremely good-looking and also eating alone. Is my waitress playing matchmaker? Hope so”. 

Get your mind right 

Confidence is key. If I had to describe people who eat alone in 3 words it would be: Mysterious, sexy, and fucking cool. Okay, that was 4, but if you have the confidence to eat alone, you have it all and you need to tell yourself that before walk in and say “party of 1”. Do your make-up, do your hair, put on your best outfit, admire yourself in the mirror, listen to your favorite songs, do whatever makes you feel most confident and get out there. 

No shame in a pre-game 

When I was solo traveling in Italy, I kept a bottle of wine handy for the exact occasion of eating alone. Have a glass before you go and take the edge off. Stuff a pocket shot in your bag and down it on the train. There is no shame in a pre-dinner drink. 

Conduct a vibe check on potential restaurants 

This is a crucial part of my eating-alone experience. Before choosing a restaurant, I do thorough research on not only what food looks delicious, but what reviews say about the service and atmosphere. I read the past 6 months of reviews to see how people enjoyed the full experience of dining out at a specific place. I look at pictures of the interior design to see if it passes the vibe check. Call me meticulous, but I have even gone as far as to do a walk-by and see how the restaurant looks in person. I personally, prefer to eat in a restaurant that is busy- so if I am strolling the evening before and I find a place that looks fun, I will write it down and make reservations for the next day. Cater your experience to what you prefer. 

Have a chat with your waitress/waiter 

This is a built-in acquaintance to your eating-alone endeavor. Use this person to your advantage! Ask them what they recommend for food and drink. Ask them if they have any other recommendations for things to do in the city you are exploring. Ask for their number if you feel so inclined. Chatting with my waitress/waiter always makes me feel more comfortable and oftentimes leads me to order a better meal. 

Practice before you go

Take yourself on a solo date in your hometown. Start with a coffee shop, bring your book and journal, and spend an hour by yourself. When I was starting out, I always brought my Dog to ease the initial fear of being alone. Level up to a fast-casual place and order some food for yourself. Strike up a conversation with someone near you. Work your way up to a sit-down restaurant— start with a place you may be a regular at or somewhere a friend works to help adjust. 

You can solo travel without eating alone 

If sitting down at a restaurant alone is not your jam, you can still have a successful solo trip! Oftentimes, you will find people to eat with at whatever hostel you are staying at. I cannot express how easy it is to find someone to grab a bite with— exercise your confidence and take the first step in asking someone to join you. Or even throw an offer to get some food in your hostel world group chat. If that still feels out of your comfort zone, order in, go for fast-casual, eat at a local market, or chef something up in the hostel kitchen. The options are endless and eating alone should not stop you from planning an incredible solo trip.